"My name is Mace Camp and I am the proud mother to ten-month old IVF twin boys, River and Summit.
I finally started Clomid for real in August and completed three rounds back to back. No pregnancies, just hyper-stimulated ovaries filled with even more cysts, weight gain, and mood swings at this point. December 2016 I started a new drug, Metformin, commonly used to treat diabetes, for my PCOS after doing some research and asking for it, which gave me intense digestive issues and may or may not have helped anything.
Finally, in March 2017 after many negative ovulation strips and blood tests, I went to see a fertility specialist. Dr. Fisch was a huge breath of fresh air! After months and months of confusion, he gave us a clear direction on our journey and some glimmer of hope backed by real numbers. Dr. Fisch put me back on birth control and set me up to get new ultrasounds and blood tests, the world’s most painful HSG test, and eventually surgery to remove a polyp near my cervix. May and June 2017 I completed two more rounds of Clomid and gave simultaneous acupuncture a shot, neither worked and the doc was skeptical that I was even ovulating at all. That’s when I was diagnosed with not only lean PCO and polyps, but “unexplained infertility” as well. We were given the option of completing intrauterine insemination for a few rounds, which boosted my 2-3% chance for success on Clomid to about 7% and cost $2000 per round, or skipping straight to IVF for a 70% success rate. We skipped straight to IVF, which cost us just under $25K.
IVF was something for an entirely different post. I’ll just say that it was simultaneously the most emotional, scary, physically draining, eye opening, and... eventually rewarding experience of my entire life. I thank God every day that it worked.
We found out that I was pregnant in November of 2017, with extra high HSG levels. Ultrasound confirmed not one, but TWO babies! Tears streamed down my face as I got my first glimpse of motherhood. Everything I had endured to get to that point in time, all of the pain, heartache, doubt... completely vanished in that moment.
My pregnancy was considered high-risk and lasted what seemed like forever. It brought new kinds of stress, eventual modified bed rest, and a whole lot of doctors appointments.
I delivered my two perfect (rainbow) babies via scheduled C-section at Spring Valley hospital (on Rainbow Boulevard) on (Oh thank heaven for) 7/11/2018 . Here’s an excerpt from my birth story about meeting our sons for the first time:
“In less than ten minutes from first cut, I felt an intense amount of pressure and then heard the best sound I’ve ever heard in my entire life, Baby A already out and crying! Wilkes held the baby in his hands and gave me a peek over the sheet and my heart basically shattered into a million pieces. It was heaven on Earth. Ben and I were both totally overcome with emotion and tears in a millisecond.
Two minutes passed where I’m pretty sure I had somebody elbows deep in and up my incision and a nurse pressing all of her weight onto me trying to squeeze Baby B out. Wilkes finally pulled the babe out feet first and upside down! His cry was just as beautiful as the first and again, heart shattering and uncontrollable tears seeing his sweet face for the very first time. The feeling of finally having my two little angel sons straight from heaven finally within a few feet of me, there is nothing more that I could ever want in my life!”
So... if you have made it this far, I will finally explain to you what I think that motherhood means to me: Motherhood means fighting relentlessly for your current and/or future family. It means taking the long view, continually testing your patience, and staying on the path for not just a little while, but for eternity.
Motherhood can mean pills, tests, doctors, needles, surgeries, money, bruises, and nausea. It can also mean a heart stretching three times it’s capacity when you find out that there are literally three hearts inside of your body.
Motherhood is not a destination, it is a state of mind. Actually, it’s multiple states of mind and multiple tasks at hand, all at once, all the time.
It is the whole ocean. It is the choppy, rough surface of the sea and also the calm, deep waters below. And while we’re on the topic of water, motherhood is also endlessly pouring yourself out and being simultaneously filled back up again.
Motherhood is witnessing innocence and curiosity every day and finding the most joy in the simplest things. It can mean holding your breath for minutes on end, praying that everything is going to be alright, and it can also mean belly laughing at the dancing babies inside of your belly.
Motherhood is your favorite time and your favorite place. It is your passion. It is energy. It is not only an extension of yourself, but your whole entire self. Motherhood can be google researching for hundreds of hours and it can be holding your sleeping baby wishing it could last another hundred hours more.
Motherhood is being completely absorbed in the well being of another person and being so incredibly happy about it that you wouldn’t think of having it any other way. It overflows an already full life. It is spontaneous smiles, endless laughter, tears of joy, pride, hope, understanding, peace, love, and right when you think it’s impossible, even more love.
Motherhood (dramatic pause) is absolutely everything." ♥️